POSH PORN

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The final posh porn scene from Matchmaker – A Handy Partner, is available now to watch here starring one of my favourite boys, Luke Hotrod, and Satine Spark.

Kacey had set up one of her clients with Charlie, even though she was really attracted to him herself. As it turns out, Charlie feels the same and finally Kacey gets some attention for herself.

Watch the Matchmaker – A Handy Partner (explicit ) scene here
Watch the Matchmaker – A Handy Partner (soft version ) trailer here
Watch all trailers (soft) on the Joybear You Tube channel here
Visit Joybear Site

Joybear is an exclusive members only site, for those with a penchant for posh porn.

 

MATCHMAKER

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There’s more juicy action from Matchmaker – the third scene, Hidden Romance is available to watch now here.

Kacey’s a professional matchmaker and her new client Alexa, is the daughter of a well known politician (if you squint she’s a dead ringer for Lily Allen). Alexa can’t escape the glare of the paparazzi, so when she wanted some “alone time” with a guy Kacey found for her, she needed to take dramatic measures.

Starring the gorgeousness of Ava Dalush and Jess West.

Watch the Matchmaker – Hidden Romance (explicit ) scene here
Watch the Matchmaker – Hidden Romance (soft version ) trailer here.
Watch all trailers (soft) on the Joybear You Tube channel here.
www.joybear.com

Joybear is an exclusive members only site, for those who can afford it.

INTERVIEW WITH A HUSBAND

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My interview with a husband age 40, married with three children.

What do you want out of your relationship.
Great sex and regularly, trust, fun, shared goals and morals, laughter, a sense of adventure.

Do you think about other people when you’re having sex?
Yes, sometimes.

What turns you on generally?
Confidence, independence, someone who ‘s a great cook. Someone who is kind and cares about family, with a healthy appetite for food and for sex. Someone who is a game for a laugh.

What turns you on in the bedroom?
Confidence, making an effort, new ideas, changing the routine,  lingerie, heels, kissing, filthy chat.

What turns you off in the bedroom?
Laziness, expecting everything and doing nothing, farting.

Are you always up for it?
Yes.

How often do you want sex?
Every day.

How many times are you satisfied with?
Twice a week is great. That’s realistic and do able. My wife is not as up for it as I am but I think that’s normal.

Do you miss being single?
Generally no, I wouldn’t swap what I have now for that. My family is everything to me. But I enjoyed the thrill of the chase, being flirted with, and one night stands. They were fun.

Do you watch porn?
Yes. Mostly alone about twice a month, and also with my wife occasionally.

Has having children changed your relationship?
Yes, for better and for worse. It’s made it stronger. We have a cemented bond and a shared responsibility to love, care and bring up our children as a team. We’ve been completely exhausted and pushed to our limits more than ever before, and challenged in more ways than we imagined. Our patience has been tested and as a result that has of course, had an effect on our relationship, we’ve bickered over silly things, and still do. We have less time for each other and less energy, perhaps that’s also due to getting older and the fact that we’ve been together for so long. But I can’t imagine a life without children, what we would do with all that time?! More time is a luxury that we both constantly fantasise about, but too much time to would be boring. And we’d have absolutely nothing to talk about.

Has having children changed your sex life?
Yes, during pregnancy and the when we were in the zone of hell ( 0-2 yrs) we had far less than usual, sometimes none for ages. At it’s worst it was probably once in three or four months, since then it has varied from once a month to four times a week.  There’s not room for spontaneity with children. Also as they get older they stay up later, which is not ideal for a quick one on the sofa.

What makes you happy?
A happy healthy family, my children, something to look forward to, love, sex, friends, exercise, beer, a sense of achievement, good food, earning enough money to live comfortably, music, smoking a joint, sunsets and holidays.

MATCHMAKER

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The second scene from Matchmaker is available to watch now here.  

Kacey Collins is a personalised matchmaker and it’s her job to help singletons all over the city find love. The problem is, she’s so busy helping others find “The One” that she doesn’t have the time or the energy  to find herself the perfect man. She’s been having a fun affair with Shauna for a while which is easy and uncomplicated, and Shauna always knows the exact moment when Kacey needs a little TLC.

Starring Satine Spark and Ashley Doll.

Watch the explicit scene here.
Watch the soft version of the trailer here.
Watch all soft trailers on Joybear’s You Tube channel here.

POWER OF ATTRACTION

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I’m watching House of Cards at the moment on Netflix and loving it. Kevin Spacey plays a plain looking, middle aged Congressman with bad hair, a thick waist and is liaising with a young attractive reporter, feeding her intelligence to manipulate politics. They go to bed together which I question because physically they are poles apart – she is young and gorgeous and his character is not. But he has power.

There are so many men out there who no-one would notice if they walked past in the street, but give them power and money, and women are fighting each other to jump in to bed with them. If Donald Trump worked at Dyno-Rod he would never have had sexual relations with any woman.

I understand that talent, success and power can be attractive but is this enough to make people so blinkered so that this is all they see. It’s all very well being on the super yacht in Ibiza and going out for supper at Sublimotion, but at what cost? You get back to the super yacht later and have to lie down with the old man and get amorous. Didn’t you see past all the sparkle and notice the comb over and the saggy buttocks? My point is that if you’re not genuinely attracted to someone how can you keep up the act, and is it worth it? Giving up genuine happiness and love in exchange for a facade that serves only to impress others.

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It still surprises me in this day and age when I see a young attractive woman with a Sugar Daddy. She clearly isn’t stupid and has immense grit and determination to give up on a chance at true love and happiness, in exchange for material things. If she applied that level of savvy to a career she’d be a huge success in her own right. Has she forgotten that since 1985 sisters are doin’ it for themselves? 

We have high flying careers, we earn our own money, we are liberated, we can hire a butler in the buff, we can watch amazing porn for women. It’s time to ditch the sugar daddy and get a hottie who turns you on and makes you laugh.

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HORNY HUSBAND

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A frustrated husband was so fed up with his wife’s continuous excuses to avoid sex that he jotted it all down on a spreadsheet and e mailed it to her at the airport before she left on a business trip.

This was the most read article in The Telegraph on Monday, read by men everywhere who no doubt nodded in agreement as they identified so strongly at their similar misfortune. My husband showed me the article, clearly it rung true for him and he was feeling a sense of solidarity for the spurned brotherhood. We then had a discussion about it, each fighting our side of the story, resulting in a slight atmosphere and then lights out. I argued that it’s no wonder she doesn’t want to sleep with him, if she’s going away on ten day business trips her job is clearly demanding and she’s probably shattered.  He also doesn’t sound like a nice guy if he’s the kind of man who publishes a list like this online, but this theory fell flat as bizarrely it was the wife that did this ( after trying to contact him upon receiving the email, she discovered that he no longer wanted contact while she was away, so she went on to a social networking site to share her predicament with the online community. All very strange but there it is). Boy’s persepctive says all he wants is some sex, a man will give up eventually if he keeps being turned down, and go elsewhere. Simple as.

I am guilty of saying no too often for my husband’s liking.  My husband makes advances for pumpage far more often than I do, and I turn him down far more than he does me . He has only refused me once, in 2006. Sex is a much bigger deal for the girls. We have to receive, our bodies are entered and invaded. This is a big ask when we’re about to nod off and the last thing we want is thirteen stone thrashing about on top of us panting in our ear. What’s the big deal say the boys? They enter, they leave, they sleep.  Simple enough, and the job’s done. For them it’s like scratching an itch. For us, the stars must align.

But a raised eyebrow followed by a quick “hop on?” will absolutely guarantee you a refusal. Wake up and smell the rejection boys.  You don’t deserve it after that pithy courtship ritual. You can’t expect her to become instantly aroused for you,for doing  - nothing. We are highly intelligent and complex creatures that you will never comprehend. We are made of many layers of beauty and confusion and you will spend your lives trying to understand us.

All you have to do is listen to our constant verbalisation of every thought, and pretend to be interested  (nodding helps). Be kind. Notice when we’re wearing a new top.  Buy flowers for no reason once in a blue moon. And we will welcome you.

We can’t forget the poor boys, being continually turned down must be very disheartening. God knows you’d be very hurt and lose all confidence if your other half kept making his excuses – there’s something the matter with me, he’s not attracted to me any more, maybe I’ve put weight on, perhaps it’s my breath, he’s met someone else – the mind would boggle. The boys simply admit defeat and go to sleep. And document it in excel spread sheets.

We hold all the cards and maybe this isn’t fair on the boys. We know the elephant in the room ( is not you) is the consequence that if we don’t want to have sex with them, one day Sophie from Accounts will, and it will be all our fault apparently. But that’s not a good enough reason to roll over if you don’t feel compelled to.

We shouldn’t feel too sorry for them though. They should be grateful they’re even sharing a bed with us. We do enough already so just accept the fact that after ten years of marriage we’re not going to have sex with you every single night. We wash your underwear. The jig is up.

Read the article here.

Images courtesy of The Telegraph

BABY VOICE

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L from Sussex, 37 asks:
I met a lovely guy and we have started seeing each other. We are a few weeks in to the relationship  and he’s started using a baby voice during foreplay which really turns me off. Is this normal? 

No it’s not. How on earth are your supposed to be aroused when a grown man talks to you like he’s a child. Next he’ll be wearing giant nappy and offering you formula in a tommy tippee cup. I sense Mummy issues.
I once met a gentleman who used seedy american lingo in the bedroom and used words like panties. It was like he was in character and completely detached from the man I was attracted too. It was contrived and he was trying way too hard. I switched off instantly and didn’t see him again.
If your new gentlemen friend isn’t impressing you in the bedroom then you must go and find someone who does. Somebody needs to put baby in the corner.
Images courtesy of amazon.co.uk

MATCHMAKER

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Carla Mai is a successful fashion buyer. Her hectic life leaves her no time to find a man. That is, until the Matchmaker sets her up with a cheeky but charming man who wines and dines her late one night in her office.  Starring the beautiful Carla Mai and the strapping Peter Oh Toole.

Watch now at www.joybear.com 

THE DAILY GRIND

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Wake up, shower, breakfast, school run, work, school run, kids tea, supper, TV, bed. As creatures of habit most of us rely on the daily grind, doing the same thing every day. Over and over.  I like it, but every now and again I get totally fed up with the monotony. Generally habits make us feel safe and secure, we know what’s coming next and we are comforted by that. But once in a while – about once a quarter for me –  I don’t want to know what’s coming next, I want a surprise, a change, a break from the sensible and reliable path I travel.

From what I gather from via my trusted sources, the same can be said for our bedroom antics for couples in long term relationships. Pumpage is getting predictable. Yes, it’s still fun but we follow the same routines when it comes to getting jiggy. We all know the drill and we can rely upon solid, consistently good sex with our partners doing pretty much the same thing every time. I’m not knocking it, it’s still great,  but sometimes we need to blow the lid right off the rumpy regime.

Remember folks that your long term lover will be impressed with a new manoeuvre so take inspiration from where you can.  Copy something you’ve seen in a movie or a saucy film. Say something unexpectedly filthy, wear some new, not grey underwear. Embrace the unpredictable and unexpected even if it’s out of your comfort zone. (If you decide to lure them in to the bushes at a wedding make sure that the floodlights from the marquee aren’t shining on you. You might feel like you’re in the dark but you are in fact in the spotlight, as a friend of mine realised after she took her boyfriend outside for a special  treat and inadvertently provided a live show for the rest of the wedding guests).

Sexual complacency is not a place we want to be. We must remind ourselves as our relationships mature not to get too settled before we end up wearing indoor shoes. We still need to make and effort and impress our partners with our prowess, after all, we don’t want them being tempted to have more exciting nookie with somebody else better than us. Somebody else with upgraded vigour and passion. Why be economy when you can be first class? Cast your minds back to when you first met, remember the way you made each other feel. In order to seal the courtship deal we went all out to get the prize and we need to re-engage that hunger.

So what do we do about it? I was going to discourage a knee jerk reaction to suddenly transform yourself in to a sex addicted to a porn star, but upon reflection particularly for the men, this would be like catching condcorde to utopia so if you have the energy girls then go for it. But for a more gentle approach throw in a few new moves, initiate something fun, somewhere new. This could be as simple as a teenage style pashing session against the kitchen counter while the asparagus is steaming.

Do something, anything, surprise yourself. Be the bird of paradise. You’d be amazed what you can do. Just don’t rest on your love laurels.

SPRING CLEANING

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Spring Cleaning, the new scene from Joybear’s latest film, Housemates, is available now to watch HERE, starring Adreena Winters and Peter Oh Toole. 

Drummer Miles is waiting for Bradley in the living room whilst Rosa tidies. He gets bored of hanging around so decides to have some fun with Rosa, who is delighted to take a break from the hoovering. Spring cleaning has never been so dirty.

Watch the explicit scene here
Watch the soft version of the trailer here.